Ways to help

I often see questions from civilians who do not have a loved one that is a vet or a service member,  what can they do to show they support the troop by more than simply saying it.

As the spouse of a veteran with PTSD, here are some of my suggestions.

Get involved – Many communities are creating organizations to touch on military and veterans issues.

If you are in a church, find a way to create programs to help vets and their families. For example, create a children’s night. Have a safe place the parents can drop the kids off, knowing they are safe, to give the kids a chance to play with other kids, and a chance for mommy and daddy to reconnect.

If you are a pastor, educate yourself on PTSD, and get training so you can help those in your congregation that may be suffering.

If you own a business, hire a vet.

If you are a professional (Dr., psychologist, therapist, lawyer), offer pro bono work to veteran’s and their families. Many vets and their families are going without healthcare. Many need a lawyer because they have gotten themself in trouble, or they have family issues, or need help with appeals, ssi or initial filing.

Find ways to help them. Find out what their needs are. Sometimes they just need someone to talk to. Be there for them. Some are coming home to no help or loved ones. Try to become a friend to them. There are many ways people can help. When you say we support our troops, don’t just say it, but mean it.

The last suggestion I have is, educate yourself on invisible wounds.  Help us raise awareness, and join us in fighting for them.  Write your congressman and senators, demanding action.  Demanding more help, and for them to start showing their appreciation for our vets.  Find out which politicians are against veteran’s benefits, and NO MATTER WHAT PARTY THEY ARE IN, VOTE THEM OUT.  We do not need politicians up there who want to take away the little benefits that our veterans do get.  They have no business in Washington.  I dont care what party they are in.

Support our vets

A Journey

Here is an interview my husband and I sat down to last year whenever I was first starting the local peer to peer support group.  We stepped out in faith and outside our comfort zone.

We met with Laurie, from Channel 3 here in Hampton Roads, to participate in an interview to raise awareness and inform those in our area about the support group I am starting, PTSD, and its effects on the Veteran and their family.

In doing this interview, it was not easy for either of us. When you put yourselves out there, you are worried about judgment from other people. Hesitation is what the devil wants. The devil will try to hold us back as much as he can. I realize this is not about us, but helping others through what we have gone through. I do not want any other spouse to feel as alone as I did. We had to step out of our comfort zone, and step out on faith, in hopes of helping others who are going through what we have gone through.

:

 

Channel 3 interview

Channel 3 interview – Web Extra

 

 

 

Asking instead of Telling

Something I have found myself doing as of lately, is telling my husband what to do, instead of asking him.  After the behavioral issues we have dealt with over the past few years, I have found myself treating him as though he is my third child, and at times, it doesnt help things.  In fact, it can hurt.  I know for myself that I dont like being told what to do, like I am a child.  Why should my husband be any different?

One of the important things I am finding and having to remember is he is still an adult.  It is a hard balance going between behavioral issues, back to good, and having to learn to trust his abilities again.  I can honestly say I dont know that I will ever get back to not having questions about behavior, or decision making, but for the sake of our marriage, I have to learn not to treat him like a child, and TELL him what to do.  Asking him to do something goes a long way, along with a please and thank you thrown in there.  It comes down to respect, and I respect my husband

.spongebob-meme-generator-ask-me-please-5a5594