In Time

There are so many times, that I have things I want to write about, experiences I want to share.

When I sit down to write, it is as if a wall goes up, blocking my thoughts.  I am unable to write down my thoughts, get out the past, and express my fears.

I am not allowing myself to touch these thoughts when I want, not allowing myself to express them.  I can only imagine, how it is for my husband, not wanting to touch what is on his mind.

Consciously or sub-consciously, we sometimes don’t allow our mind to remember the bad, to remember the negative, to remember the nightmares.

I can never imagine what my husband and other veterans have been through, but I can somewhat understand why my husband avoids, why he blocks it away.

Although it doesn’t compare, when I reflect over what we have gone through over the past two years, it is like pulling off a scab, letting it bleed all over again.  This is why I don’t push, and I don’t pry for my husband to talk.  He will talk on his on time, own his own terms.  All I can do, is be there for him, when he is ready. There are so many times, that I have things I want to write about, experiences I want to share. When I sit down to write, it is as if a wall goes up, blocking my thoughts. I am unable to write down my thoughts, get out the past, and express my fears. I am not allowing myself to touch these thoughts when I want, not allowing myself to express them. I can only imagine, how it is for my husban…d, not wanting to touch what is on his mind. Consciously or sub-consciously, we sometimes don’t allow our mind to remember the bad, to remember the negative, to remember the nightmares. I can never imagine what my husband and other veterans have been through, but I can somewhat understand why my husband avoids, why he blocks it away. Although it doesn’t compare, when I reflect over what we have gone through over the past two years, it is like pulling off a scab, letting it bleed all over again. This is why I don’t push, and I don’t pry for my husband to talk. He will talk on his on time, own his own terms. All I can do, is be there for him, when he is ready.

Time

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