One of the things that doesn’t get talked about often enough is Secondary PTSD. It is still highly debated on whether it exist, and if it does to what degree.
The VA and DOD do not recognize Secondary PTSD as being real, the last I looked. I believe that it is very real, and just like PTSD, it depends on the individual on the degree it affects one.
I can tell you when my husband was at his worse, I experienced some hyper-vigilance symptoms, ups and downs of emotion, anxiety, avoidance. I was also pregnant at the time, and the surge of hormones, as well as the lack of sleep could have been major contributors to what I experienced. It is a stressful situation when you are constantly looking for mood changes, staying up with him to make sure he doesn’t take off, in self-destruct mode, trying to calm the situation, especially with young children, and lack of empathy from him. This is very hard for anyone to take.
So please, take care of yourselves. You will do your spouse no good if you aren’t physically and mentally healthy. Get into individual therapy. Giveanhour.org is a great resource and free.